I wish I had a million dollars $$$

Well, just another update because I'm anxious, nervous, and all those bad things that don't do well for life. I spent yesterday couchridden because I hurt my back. I'm too stressed. But no worries, all is better and I can move around again. I'm counting down the days until I'm supposed to head out to Washington and the numbers get smaller and smaller and yet I still don't have anything. I've had a few calls from people inquiring about me being their roommate but I said no to the guys and the other one I can't afford until I have a job, because she wants a deposit plus the first month's rent. Yes, I knew moving would be expensive and I knew some places would ask for a deposit but I didn't think I would be paying for two months worth of rent and not even be guarenteed the two months. I'm scared. Yet I'm still excited. I've applied for some regular, run-of-the-mill jobs (actually Payless and a few other retail stores). I'm sending an application in by mail that is for a government position. That's one I'd rather have over Payless because I'd actually get some editing experience. Still no word from my uncle (who isn't a bishop but in a bishopric) about any of the singles in his ward needing a roommate, but I do have permission to go stay with another of my grandma's brothers who lives in Washington for a couple of days so I can find something. I'm hoping to stay for a week so I have a place to look go home to after looking at/for apartments and finding a job.

The reason I wish I had a million dollars is so I could just go and get my own apartment. It's scary to try and find something with someone when you're not sure if they'll be compatible. Besides, I don't have a job to give people the security that I can pay rent. It just doesn't cut it when you say "I have saved money" and all that jazz because that's not security. Nor do I dare tell people how much I have saved because that's just plain personal. If I had a million dollars I could just buy my own townhouse or condo or something like that and be done with it. Then I'd still have money to just use while I spend my time writing for fun. I'd still want to work because sitting at home all the time is a very boring job (take it from someone who has done so for a month now).

Here's to hoping things work out for however they're supposed to work out, because I'm assuming my way is the wrong way.